Trumpiana: Who dun it — The crime of the century!
Photo credit: Truth Social
As the Epstein shit hit the fan, the Don sent his sleuths on a great red herring chase!
Spoiler alert: As all the Presidents sleuths, boys and gals, set out to solve the crime of the century, it became clear early on that the butler or the maid hadn’t dun it. The prime suspect had been hiding in plain sight all the time. A guy named Barack Hussein Obama. All they had to do was to look for the clues.
But POTUS was miles ahead of them. He had already delivered the case gift wrapped for them. “Obama himself manufactured the Russia, Russia, Russia HOAX,” he proclaimed on Truth Social. “Crooked Hillary, Sleepy Joe, and numerous others participated in this, THE CRIME OF THE CENTURY!. Irrefutable EVIDENCE. A major threat to our Country!!!”
The White House faithfully followed with a meme saying, “They came after the wrong man@realDonald Trump” with a picture of a furious 47 declaring, “I was the hunted-NOW I’M THE HUNTER. President Donald J. Trump.”
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Accompanying it was a fake AI-generated video showing Obama being arrested by the FBI in the Oval Office as Trump gleefully looks on and a collage of mug shots of a “shady bunch” of eight Democratic officials in orange prison jump suits.
Trump’s spymaster Tulsi Gabbard, who had slipped into his bad books by speaking out of turn on Iran’s nuclear designs, was quick to uncover “🧵 New evidence… of the most egregious weaponization and politicization of intelligence in American history.”
Release of a decade old declassified House report “exposing” how the Obama intelligence community “conspired to subvert the will of the American people.. essentially enacting a years-long coup against” Trump, earned her a quick pat on the back.
“Congratulations, you’ve unlocked: The Deep State Russia Starter Pack,” White House posted on Truth Social with another fake poster of the “Deep State” creators of “The Russia Hoax” with pictures of Obama, Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden.
“🚨@DNITulsiGabbard EXPOSES how the Obama Administration manufactured the January 2017 Intelligence Community Assessment, creating the RUSSIA HOAX. The crime of the century!” it posted.
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Friendly non-fake media followed up with stories about “How Obama Admin Turned ‘Unverifiable’ Report Into Russiagate Dynamite” to “Treachery, Subversion, Betrayal, Sedition” even as the ‘failing New York Times’ suggested “new reports on Russian interference don’t show what Trump says.”
Then Trump himself chipped in declaring Obama “guilty of treason” and called on the Department of Justice to prosecute his predecessor.
“Obama was trying to lead a coup. And it was with Hillary Clinton, with all these other people. But Obama headed it up,” alleged Trump asserting, “It’s there. He’s guilty. This was treason,” he said calling it “the biggest scandal in the history of our country.”
He also included Biden, former FBI Director James Comey, former DNI James Clapper and former CIA Director John Brennan as other possible targets of investigation.
Trump administration also flooded the media with info about old grievances and issues popular with his MAGA base from documents about Hillary Clinton to Martin Luther King’s assassination to a threat to block a deal for a new football stadium unless the Washington Commanders became the Redskins again.
But with the ghost of Epstein refusing to die, it failed to dampen the MAGA anger about the handling of files related to disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein, who pleaded guilty in 2008 to soliciting an underage sex worker.
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And as a few Republican rebels insisted on a vote for the release of potentially embarrassing Epstein files, Speaker Mike Johnson sent the chamber home a day early for their summer holiday, cheekily dubbed “the Epstein recess” by Democratic leader Chuck Schumer.
Finally Trump broke his atypical silence to accuse “the Radical Left Democrats” of “doing everything in their power to distract and obfuscate from our GREAT six months of service to America, results of which many are saying is the BEST six months in Presidential history.”
“They have gone absolutely CRAZY, and are playing another Russia, Russia, Russia Hoax but, this time, under the guise of what we will call the Jeffrey Epstein SCAM,” he wrote dismissing the whole controversy as “yet another Democrat CON JOB.”
Even as a Florida court ruled that its “hands are tied” in releasing federal grand jury transcripts, Trump wrote, “Hopefully, the Grand Jury Files will put an end to this HOAX. Everyone should see what is there, but people who are innocent should not be hurt.”
Trump also crowed about reaching trade deals with Indonesia, Philippines and Japan, one of the largest U.S. trading partners, and bringing Columbia University and the University of Pennsylvania on their knees even as Harvard kept fighting in court after losing nearly $3 billion in federal grants. At least four more embattled schools — Brown, Cornell, Northwestern and Princeton — may fall next.
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But even after Trump sued The Wall Street Journal and Rupert Murdoch for publishing a ‘fake’ story about Trump sending a letter to Epstein in 2003 with a drawing of a naked woman, it came out with yet another story.
Attorney General Pam Bondi, it claimed, had told Trump that his “name appeared multiple times in the Epstein files.” So did others with a drip-drip of stories on his past relationship with the convicted sex offender though none accused him of any wrongdoing.
And despite his “BIG AND IMPORTANT WIN in our Historic Lawsuit against 60 Minutes, CBS, and Paramount. Just like ABC and ‘George Slopadopoulos,’” as he calls host Stephanopoulos, Paramount shows kept skewering him.
As his Late Night show was yanked, Stephen Colbert decried on air his bosses’ settlement “a $16 million bribe” for Skydance’s $8 billion merger with Paramount. And the animated TV sitcom “South Park,” aired a lewd episode showing a naked Donald Trump in bed with Satan earning the wrath of White House which dismissed it as an ‘irrelevant’ show’s “desperate attempt for attention.”
But the question is who’ll have the last laugh!