Trumpiana: Putin POTUS pow wow — who played whom?
Photo credit: Truth Social
A Nobel may have eluded the Don, but when he snags one, guess who’ll host the show?
The Dealmaker-in-Chief had come to Alaska to look the Russian Czar Putin in the eye at a “really a feel-out meeting” to decide if he could strike a deal to end Russia’s war on Ukraine — and snag a Nobel prize!
But after a welcome with fighter jets, a red carpet and a hopeful slogan — “Pursuing Peace” — plastered on the wall and nearly three hours of pow vow, Donald Trump could only pronounce, “There’s no deal until there’s a deal.”
“It was an inconclusive end to a showy summit that — for all its unknowns — did seem to decisively welcome Putin back into the diplomatic fold,” suggested CNN quickly giving its verdict.
Trump’s failure to reach an accord on Ukraine only made his warm welcome for Russia’s leader more striking as it “effectively ended Putin’s diplomatic isolation,” agreed the New York Times.
As they lavished praise on each other, Putin endorsed the Don’s view that the war would never have started if Trump had won the 2020 election. Calling Trump’s efforts on Ukraine as “precious,” he urged Europe to “not throw a wrench in the works” and to “not use backroom dealings” to torpedo it.
In an interview with friendly Fox News, Trump himself rated the summit a “10 out of 10” and touted “very good progress” in the road to peace in Ukraine, adding ominously, “I think we’re pretty close to a deal. Now look, Ukraine has to agree to it.”
Media also went to town about Russian foreign minister, Sergei Lavrov coming to Alaska wearing a sweatshirt emblazoned with “CCCP,” the Russian initials for the USSR, and Russian press corps being served chicken Kyiv cutlets, calling it a “not-so-subtle act of trolling.”
READ: Trumpiana: Howdy Modi, Namaste Trump, Bye Dosti, Hi Grump! (August 9, 2025)
“The Fake News is working overtime (No tax on overtime!),” Trump had complained ahead of the Alaska summit, “constantly quoting fired losers and really dumb people” suggesting “Putin has already won.”
“If I got Moscow and Leningrad free, as part of the deal with Russia, the Fake News would say that I made a bad deal!” he posted ruefully on Truth Social.
So the Commander-in-chief set out to launch a liberation war on multiple fronts, laying siege on a major city — no, not Moscow or Leningrad, but his own capital Washington!
“Washington, D.C. will be LIBERATED today! Crime, Savagery, Filth, and Scum will DISAPPEAR. I will, MAKE OUR CAPITAL GREAT AGAIN!” Trump proclaimed as he sent 800 National Guard troops to fight crime in the capital.
The seizure of a dystopian Washington taken over by “bloodthirsty criminals” and “roving mobs of wild youth” was smooth, but for a disgruntled Justice department employee yelling “F— you! You f—–g fascists!” and throwing a footlong Subway sandwich on a National Guard. He was promptly overpowered, arrested and fired.
READ: Trumpiana: Who stole my Nobel Peace Prize! (August 2, 2025)
The action also earned him the epithet of “crime-fighter-in-chief” with a ‘fake news CNN’ host comparing him to comic book character Batman with one Batman @urfavbatman posting a picture of Batman and Superman commiserating with each other.
After D.C., Trump said he might use the National Guard to wrest “other cities also that are bad, very bad” like Chicago, Los Angeles, New York, Baltimore and Oakland, California.
On another front, bluntly inserting himself as the chief decision maker of major companies, he made two major semiconductor makers to give the government a 15% cut of their sales in China — after haggling for 20% by a fly on the wall account. The CEO of Intel too came calling soon after Trump asked him to resign.
Anointing himself as the cultural czar, Trump ordered a comprehensive review of Smithsonian museums giving them 120 days to replace “divisive or ideologically driven language.”
He then announced “GREAT Nominees for the TRUMP/KENNEDY CENTER, whoops, I mean, KENNEDY CENTER, AWARDS” — 98% of them chosen by himself — and a major change to the award ceremony in December: He’ll be the host.
Before naming the first class of honorees since he took over the arts complex this year, Trump confessed he always wanted the award himself but “was never able to get one.”
“I waited and waited and waited, and I said, ‘The hell with it, I’ll become chairman and I’ll give myself an honor,’” he said to chuckles from a crowd — and a promise from his appointee president that he’d get one next year.
READ: Trumpiana: Who dun it — The crime of the century! (July 27, 2025)
But in the run-up to the summit, the Nobel Prize seemed to be top of his mind. Peeved that even his bête noire Barack Obama had got one “undeservedly,” he ordered the official portrait of the former president moved from the White House entryway to the top of the Grand Staircase, according to CNN. So were the portraits of two other predecessors, George W. Bush and his father, George H. W. Bush.
Trump has posted about the prize seven times on his social media site since his second term began, six of them in June and July. A theme of his is that while he has earned the accolade, he won’t win it. He even called Norway’s Finance Minister Jens Stoltenberg out of the blue last month to discuss trade tariffs — as well as his bid to win the Nobel Peace Prize, according to Politico.
Dutifully, the White House kept amplifying Trump’s role in curbing hostilities with one post promoting “WORLDWIDE CALLS FOR PRESIDENT TRUMP TO RECEIVE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE” with a picture of him on the podium with the Nobel medal on the side.
Conspicuously absent from the list ranging from Prime Minister Nikol Pashinyan of Armenia to The Government of Pakistan was India which has annoyingly refused to give him any credit for stopping the recent conflict with Pakistan.
A peace deal may have eluded him in Alaska, but when he does snag a Nobel one day, there is no prize for guessing who would host the ceremony: Trump of course!