Indian Americans must confront mental health stigma, as community grapples with surge in murder-suicides 

What is driving the surge in murder-suicides among Indian Americans? One common thread seems to run through many of them – the pervasive stigma surrounding mental health.

By Benoy Thomas

The Indian American community witnessed a deeply troubling trend in the past year – a disturbing increase in murder-suicide cases. As the American Bazaar reported, 2023 began with a harrowing incident on January 2, involving Dr. Dharmesh Arvind Patel, who drove his Tesla off a cliff in an attempt to take the lives of his entire family. Thankfully, his wife and children miraculously survived, and he now faces charges of attempted murder and child abuse.

The year concluded with another horrifying event, as Rakesh “Rick” Kamal ended the lives of his daughter Arianna, his wife Teena, and ultimately, himself.

The incidents mentioned above, unfortunately, were not isolated events but part of a larger pattern. In between these headline-grabbing tragedies, several more similar cases unfolded. One of these cases involved Baltimore resident Yogesh H. Nagarajappa, who tragically shot and killed his wife, Prathiba Y. Amarnath, and their six-year-old son, Yash Honnal, before taking his own life.

These heartbreaking incidents paint a grim picture of individuals who felt so overwhelmed by their circumstances that they resorted to the most extreme and tragic measures. While each case is unique and complex, they leave us with a pressing question: What is driving this sudden surge in murder-suicides among Indian Americans? Though we may not have examined each case in detail, one common thread seems to run through many of them – the pervasive stigma surrounding mental health.

READ: Tesla Devil’s Slide crash driver charged with attempted murder(January 31, 2023)

Domestic violence is another significant factor contributing to these distressing incidents. Indian Americans are often adept at concealing problems behind a facade of normalcy until a catastrophic event unravels their lives.

Issues like jealousy, suspicions within spousal relationships, and disputes related to dowry and child custody can exacerbate the desperation that drives someone toward such a tragic end.

Available resources

Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: 988 
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 

The stigma surrounding mental health issues remains deeply entrenched within the Indian American community. Conditions like anxiety and depression often go unaddressed, even among highly educated individuals. In the relentless pursuit of the so-called American Dream, setbacks such as business failures, crippling personal debt, potential family financial burdens, or job loss can strike anyone.

The weight of these failures becomes unbearable for some, leading them to believe that ending their lives, or the lives of their loved ones, is the only way out. Tragically, suicide or murder-suicide may be perceived as an escape from the shame associated with perceived failures.

READ: Indian American family found dead in possible murder-suicide(October 6, 2023)

In the case of Kamal, financial troubles appeared to be a pivotal factor contributing to the tragic events that unfolded within his family. It was reported that Kamal had accumulated substantial debts and was teetering on the brink of bankruptcy.

What sets this case apart is that Kamal went to great lengths to conceal his dire financial situation from his wife, Teena. This lack of transparency about their financial struggles sheds light on a prevalent issue within the Indian American community, which is considered one of the most affluent ethnic groups in the United States.

In a community that often prides itself on its success and achievements, the fear of failure can be particularly crippling. The pressure to maintain an image of prosperity and success can become overwhelming, especially when faced with financial setbacks. For Kamal, the burden of mounting debts and the looming threat of bankruptcy may have been exacerbated by the pervasive stigma surrounding failure within the community.

This stigma is deeply ingrained and can be traced back to cultural values that emphasize the importance of achievement and success. Individuals within the community often feel immense pressure to meet societal and familial expectations, which may include excelling academically, pursuing lucrative careers, and achieving financial stability. Any deviation from this path can be met with a sense of shame and a fear of judgment from peers and family members.

READ: Karnataka techie couple, son found dead in double murder-suicide (August 22, 2023)

The juxtaposition of perceived success and the harsh realities of financial struggles can create a toxic environment where individuals may feel isolated and unable to seek help. They may fear that admitting to financial difficulties could tarnish their reputation and bring shame upon their family. Consequently, they may resort to desperate measures, such as violence or even suicide, as a way to escape what they perceive as an insurmountable failure.

It is essential to recognize that these challenges are not unique to the Indian American community, but they are magnified by the pressure to maintain an image of success. Addressing this issue requires a collective effort to break the silence surrounding financial struggles and failure.

Encouraging open conversations about mental health and financial difficulties, providing accessible resources for counseling and support, and fostering a culture of empathy and understanding are essential steps toward alleviating the burden of stigma.

Moreover, community leaders, organizations, and educational institutions should actively promote a more balanced perspective on success and emphasize the importance of well-being over societal expectations.

By acknowledging that setbacks are a natural part of life and that seeking help is a sign of strength rather than weakness, we can hope to create a more supportive and compassionate environment within the Indian American community and beyond.

In doing so, we can work toward dismantling the destructive stigma surrounding failure and mental health, ensuring that individuals facing financial challenges are met with understanding and assistance rather than isolation and despair. Ultimately, it is through collective efforts and a shift in cultural attitudes that we can prevent such tragic events from recurring within our community.

Addressing this alarming trend requires a multifaceted approach. First and foremost, we must break down the walls of silence and stigma surrounding mental health in the Indian American community. Open discussions, awareness campaigns, and destigmatization efforts are crucial steps toward creating an environment where seeking help is encouraged rather than frowned upon.

Additionally, promoting healthy communication within families and addressing conflicts promptly can help prevent situations from escalating to the point of no return. Community organizations and leaders should take an active role in providing mental health resources and support to those in need. It is incumbent upon us to ensure that individuals facing adversity do not see suicide or violence as their only way out.

The rising number of murder-suicides among Indian Americans is a tragic and urgent issue that demands our attention and action. By addressing the stigma surrounding mental health, fostering open dialogue, and providing much-needed support, we can hope to prevent such heartbreaking incidents and offer a lifeline to those in despair. It is our collective responsibility to work toward a community where mental health is valued, and no one feels driven to such devastating extremes.

(Benoy Thomas is a mental health expert, currently working for the US federal government.)

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